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Flippin buckets of kittens
Previous | Next by rich 30 May, 2006 - 10:16 AM

And the fun continues today from the stolen identity stuff. Today my beautiful bride tells me that wally-mart just turned the both of us down for credit. This is the third merchant in as many weeks to turn us down. We did not apply for these things, someone else did for us. Joy.

Anyway the fraud alert seems to be doing it’s job, as I am notified every time credit is attempted in my name. However each time I get one of these calls I am hopping mad for the rest of the day. Today, just to be sure nothing had gotten through the cracks I figured I should pony up to the “man” ahem, mob, at Equifax and have a look see for myself. This is something I have been doing every 3 to 6 months anyway before all this crap.

As I am long past fighting the man with the credit BS I attempted to part take of an offer for a year of unlimited credit reports and monitoring for the wonderful price of $99. This should satisfy my obsession I told my self.

So I go through the process of ordering and it generates an error code. It prompts me to call someone to fix it. Not too surprised as I have all the warning bells on my report right now, I call. After I let a drop of blood seep into the phone receiver and get down to business I am told that it simply doesn’t work for my account.

--- pause ---

ME: so it doesn’t work?

Goumba : no sir, it seems there are some errors in the system on your account, it will not work

ME: so how might we resolve this?

Goumba : sir I just told you, your account can not be accessed on line

--- pause ---

ME: so how might you suggest ordering a credit monitoring service and checking your report at least once a week?

Goumba : You may order a report that will be sent to you in the mail.

ME: yeah, how about we fix the online, I ordered a report 3 weeks ago

Goumba : Sir you account will not work online

ME: I understand that, is there a time in the future I can expect it to work? Is there perhaps an action that can be taken to make it work again?

Goumba : I don’t think it will ever work again

ME: that sounds pretty serious. Ever?

Goumba : yes sir, you may order a paper report

ME: So are you telling me that you no longer want to do business with me online?

Goumba : no sir, I am telling you that it will not work online

ME: So then, what you are saying is that Equifax is no longer, and will never again be able to provide me with credit reporting services in exchange for payment?

Goumba : no sir, we can send you a credit report in the mail

ME: how’a about you send me something in the mail regarding why I can no longer do business online with you.

--- hold 12 minutes ----

Goumba : I talked with my technical support team. They will be contacting you in 3 to 5 days.

ME: Now see, that sounds like something could possibly be done about this situation. Thank you.

Holds Breath

30 minutes later I go to Transunion and order my “3 n 1” credit report. This astonishingly included my buried-in-the-bowls-of-hell Equifax credit report.

5/31/2006 >> mffree

Dont forget there are three credit bureaus...(sux) Transunion which you have, Equifax and Experian

also these might help:

and I would be remiss if I did not provide this due to me working at SSA:

5/31/2006 >> ben

Also, in MD, you can get your report free, once per year

5/31/2006 >> muhgcee

When you flip the bucket, do the kittens land on their feet?

5/31/2006 >> pyrex

Hehe, "I don't think it will ever work again." Depressing little goomba.

Whee goomba!

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