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The Uber-Fan is out There
Previous | Next by adrienne 09 June, 2003 - 2:33 PM

Caitlin was walking to work the other morning when something lying next to a trash can caught her eye. It was a small pink vinyl photo album, very pink and with a picture in the front frame. She's not the kind of person who normally picks up trash but this was an exception.

She brought the booklet over to Eva's and they inspected. It was full of the Golden Girls. The front frame had a group photo, the back page had the lyrics to the theme song. There was a page of Factoids (useless trivia important to cult followers) and then there were head shots and scenes from the show. Most of the pictures were printed on a cheap home device, and there were addresses to all of the stars' homes off of MapQuest complete with maps (route highlighted) and door-to-door directions.
Then, upon closer inspection, they discovered that some of the shots of Rue McClannahan weren't cheap prints but actual photos. But they weren't really Rue,either; there was a page of drag shots of someone dressed as her. Then they started to pay more attention to the details, and realized that the captions had definite messages, like, "Jealous", under a pic of Blanch kissing Dorothy.
This book is an expression of DEEP AND EVERLASTING LOVE FOR ALL OF THE GOLDEN GIRLS. I hope that whoever made it isn't one of the five people who read this blog and go after Eva and Caitlin to get their book back. And I also hope that they don't punch 'love', golden girls', 'pictures', 'maps', and 'rue' into Google and find this little note. That would lead them directly to the door of the savages holding his Love Letter hostage. It probably fell out of a traditionally well fastened bag and was tragically mourned. I hope that Eva and Caitlin are safe from the abandoned chap who misses his precious. Because really, if he had two brain cells he could find them now. I wonder what he would do?

6/10/2003 >> pyrex

Make a dress out of their skin a la Buffalo Bill style?


6/10/2003 >> Casey

Insanity fascinates me. Do you think this little album you've found is evidence of insanity....? Like if you met this person, would you expect them to be on any of a variety of mentally stabilizing medications? If you were friends with them what kinds of things do you suppose they would suggest for recreation? That's a huge find that little album there, lots of food for the imagination.

6/10/2003 >> erato

get out the hand sanitizer. ;)

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